some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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