So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
