Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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