I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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