i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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