My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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