Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
