i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
