Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
where am i from again
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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