They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
