I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
