OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.