Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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  (650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history http://tfl.nu/ot0p
  Replies (19) Good night (1335) Bad night (2733)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  false alarm. still invincible.

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  (305): false alarm. still invincible. http://tfl.nu/rmc6
  Replies (35) Good night (8515) Bad night (850)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants

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  (317): i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants http://tfl.nu/qswz
  Replies (13) Good night (1099) Bad night (2686)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17990) Bad night (3149)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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  (814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8
  Replies (37) Good night (10931) Bad night (1603)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.

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  (734): By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on. http://tfl.nu/k86o
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (3269)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

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  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (837)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check

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  (936): Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check http://tfl.nu/ivap
  Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (505)
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  (585): View more from New York

  "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

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  (585): "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly." http://tfl.nu/7n5b
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.

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  (918): I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now. http://tfl.nu/hh6j
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (621)
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  (714): View more from California

  I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.

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  (714): I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior. http://tfl.nu/g7q9
  Replies (5) Good night (623) Bad night (410)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.

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  (781): I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt. http://tfl.nu/aqol
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.

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  (928): I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish. http://tfl.nu/fekx
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  My vagina is officially offended.

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  (407): My vagina is officially offended. http://tfl.nu/m3e0
  Replies (3) Good night (241) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.

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  (763): I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm. http://tfl.nu/0q0k
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (260)

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