I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
