just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.