good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time