this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
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She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM