Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

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  (813): My mind said no, but my drink said yes. http://tfl.nu/mirc
  Replies (2) Good night (2355) Bad night (689)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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  (402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn
  Replies (11) Good night (1663) Bad night (601)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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  (518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l
  Replies (17) Good night (5407) Bad night (1177)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8170) Bad night (898)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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  (972): Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving http://tfl.nu/e1pp
  Replies (13) Good night (4793) Bad night (1145)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You are nothing if not reliable.

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  (206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj
  Replies (11) Good night (5188) Bad night (1719)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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  (907): I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized. http://tfl.nu/0yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (3674) Bad night (997)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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  (+61): THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/omc3
  Replies (12) Good night (3596) Bad night (854)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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  (612): I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/cvm1
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (1634)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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  (406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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  (720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0
  Replies (10) Good night (1740) Bad night (522)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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  (203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c
  Replies (10) Good night (2102) Bad night (563)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

  (817): View more from Texas

  So yeah he had good weed?

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  (817): I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft. (817): So yeah he had good weed? http://tfl.nu/m1w9
  Replies (4) Good night (849) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!

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  (714): GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo! http://tfl.nu/3so0
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (249)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

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  (317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (168)

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