So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?