omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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