Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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