omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bring money and cleavage
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
