I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We're facebook friends in real life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
