Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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