you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize