So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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