he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
