going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
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I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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