Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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