Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
