What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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