I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
