some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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