Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
