I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
