Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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