Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
