If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize