he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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