why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
