doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
