Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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