Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
