On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
