Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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