Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
