go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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