Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
