I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize