...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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