WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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