im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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