Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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