Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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