yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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