and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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