i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
