the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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