Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
