Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
