I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
