Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
