dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
