I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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