Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
