i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
