Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
