Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
