i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
