Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
