We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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