If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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